Saturday, June 9, 2012
Week 19: Κύριε, ἐλέησον (Kyrie Eleison)
It's a rainy Saturday afternoon and Danielle sleeps beside me (and perhaps the babies do as well). I'm listening to David Crowder* Band's Give Us Rest. In particular, a song entitled "God Have Mercy". The lyrics, though simplistic just resound in my head, because it's about the only prayer in my mind regarding our situation.
When we went in Wednesday of last week, as you might have read, we didn't meet Dr. Suzuki (our normal physician) because he was off that day. The appointment with the other physician (who we aren't sure if he was a doc) was less than stellar. However, it was needed. The good things out of that appointment are that we received more antibiotics and more contraction-stopping meds. That all said, what we didn't mention was from that evening forward Danielle began to steadily leak small amounts of amniotic fluid. This wasn't anything new, so at first we weren't concerned, but it continued even through this last Wednesday. We'd called the hospital to see if we should come, but as Danielle had neither stomach pain nor blood discharge, they recommended she we stay back.
But this proved to be psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually taxing on us. Danielle was all but sure that Baby A's water had also broke again. While I wasn't sure, and was prayerful that such wasn't the case... I must admit, this past Wednesday morning when I awoke, I was a bit fearful. We'd eventually go to the hospital and then perhaps we'd see no water in either baby's sack.
We went to the hospital for our scheduled appointment and Dr. Suzuki had returned to meet us (which was a great relief for us--the other guy didn't seem quite sure of how to operate the ultrasound machine). We've built a great deal of trust with Suzuki-sensei (yes, Dr.'s are also called sensei's in Japan--useless fact: anyone considered to be a master practioner/specialist in a field is referred to as "sensei", not just teachers).
We had our ultrasound -- and to our relief Baby A's sack was still unharmed and the amount of fluid was about the same as last week. 30.4mm. Its heart rate was 153bpm and its a little ahead of its growth schedule--as it was 19w5d. The bladder and I believe the stomach could also be seen, and the ultrasound weighed it in at around 249grams. It was pretty actively moving around too. Good news, good news. Thank the Lord. (Unlike the doc last week, Dr. Suzuki wasn't willing to conclude if it was indeed a girl. We'll see. There's speculation it might be, as boys are usually easy to tell by this far along).
Baby B's situation has not changed, as there's no visible fluid in its sack. Its heart rate was a bit slower at 134bpm (still in normal range). But because it's squished into a smaller area, the measurement of its head only yielded 17w5 days as far as growth--bad news is it's obviously behind...but for me the good news is, they've grown since last week. Suzuki-sensei said he thinks Baby B's lungs will probably get smaller and collapse. He did say though that the head reading may not have been accurate since the baby is squished. Anyways..outlook on baby B is bleak when we look at all the facts. It measured in at 200grams.
More good news is that after a week of antibiotics, Danielle's infection went down--the rate of inflammation had decreased dramatically, while the white blood cell count only slightly. We were given one more week of antibiotics and after discussing how we should manage appointments in this critical time Dr. Suzuki recommended (because our case is special) to do weekly appointments for the foreseeable future. (SMART MOVE, Suzuki-sensei). This is an answer to a desire we didn't know we had. But God knows.
And so looking at the cold harsh facts that confront us about Baby B and how God has kept Baby A safe, and kept both alive this far along, has been cause to wonder. God is in control of everything--I believe that God can do anything He pleases whenever He pleases. We are hopeful that both babies can survive. In the end Danielle and I ultimately entrust ourselves to the good and perfect will of our Creator. Thanks for your prayers in this time.
Clifford & Danielle