Saturday, July 21, 2012

Sweet Baby feet!

I finally opened my lovely eyes for Mommy to see :) I could not be more in love with her. Dear God please help her little body to grow strong!
So we are finally home from the hospital. It was really nice to sleep in my bed.  Clifford had to work yesterday until around 10 pm. I want to say thanks to my sweet girlfriends who sat with me all day even as I slept,  I know with out them around I wouldn't have had just a few break downs but rather I am sure a complete mental breakdown if I was alone.  Girls as you read this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I know it was probably hard and there are no words that you can really say, but thanks for sitting here all day with me. Your friendship is truly a blessing more than you know. Also, pray for my sweet husband. At this point I can tell he is completely exhausted.  He will have a few days of break, but has a presentation he is giving this weekend he needs to work on.  Please pray for his strength and that he wouldn't get sick.

As you can imagine, the last few days have been hard.  It was much easier for me while at the hospital.  I think mostly because I knew I was at least near Karis.  My heart of course is heavy that I only get to see her for two hours a day.  Sometimes, if I am being honest, I hate all the rules in Japan.  In America I could see her almost anytime.  I am on some different pProm and NICU web sites and the moms are always writing about sitting with their babies for hours.  Nope not here. They get to do Kangaroo care, skin to skin time, even when babies are on vents (it is proven to help calm the baby) Nope not here until around 35 weeks. Family can come in and see the baby, nope not here.  Looks like my Mom will see her twice as a special favor since they are flying from America.  For some families they have homes they can stay at that are close, nope not here.  I live about 1 hour away. Also, on Tuesday I don't even get to see her at all the NICU is closed to parents who are not in the hospital.  All of this just makes me mad.  If I think about it to much, it will swallow me whole.  So, I try not to, but sometimes that is hard. In the past three years I have had to adapt to many "differences" about living in this culture. Truthfully it hasn't been to hard.  I try hard most of the time to conform to the Japanese way.  In the classes I took before coming here, something I learned was when living in a new culture it is important to" become like and remain like" that culture.  And while that will probably never really happen, I can at least try to do this by following cultural norms and "rules". But I am just finding that really hard to accept in this instance.  Please pray for my heart that it doesn't become angry towards all the differences here. Obviously where I am at in this moment today is not the best mentally.  I guess the only thing I can do is the same thing I have been doing for months.  Prayer!  Sometimes it truly isn't easy, I really just don't have any words, but I know the Holy Spirit is going before the throne on my behalf.

While I am having a hard time in that area right now, I know the doctors and nurses are competent here and doing their best.  Dr. Chiba has been very positive about how Karis is doing, and tries his best to explain everything in English.  Even when we bring a translator he still will speak in English. After telling us about her lungs looking white Clifford and I didn't really understand everything, so the next day they spent a LONG time explaining it to us again.  So how is Karis doing many of you may be wondering. Here is what is going on with her.

 -Dr. C said he considers her stable.  She has passed the 1 week mark which is great.  Next goal is 1 month.
- Brain bleed- they found a second tiny brain bleed so she has one on both sides :(  He said if they don't resolve they will turn into cysts.  Since they are both level 1 he is not very concerned and has assured us it is so common.Our prayers are that her brain would heal itself and this worry would be gone!
-PDA- tiny valve between heart and lungs.  It can open and close for awhile but for the past two days it has remained closed!!!
-Lungs- according to the second x-ray there has been some improvement.  But still she needs prayer for this as there is still white or wetness in her lungs. Pray Pray Pray for this please.
-Infection- Praise the lord her white blood cell went down to almost normal levels.  Her CRP (inflammation) level is still high but that is also common.
Breathing- she is doing well with her oxygen level and CO2 output. Praise God!

* Special prayer for my parents- My Mom and Greg are flying here in a few days to spend three weeks with us.  Please pray for them as they prepare to come.  It has been crazy for them both, but pray specifically for health that neither of them will become sick...I wouldn't take the chance of being around them if they become sick from all the plane germs :( Also, for my Mom's back it is acting up and I know how that can be on such a long flight.

So that is everything medically speaking. Non- medically speaking, when we saw here in the morning she was very active. Moving all around and stretching her sweet little limbs.  Oh how I love her so much.  I can't wait for the day I can hold her.  When we see her in the afternoon she is usually so sleepy, that we just watch her and sing to her.  But yesterday, guess what she finally opened both eyes for me BIG and WIDE(see top picture) Oh heaven, I am in love with this child <3. So here are some pictures we took of her yesterday.  I think you can truly see how tiny she really is from these pictures. 
Family picture, we love you baby girl!

Sweet little foot so tiny and precious!

Tiny little hand, how I love you!


  1. Love you, Danielle!! Praying, praying, praying!!

  2. Hi Danielle,
    My name is Christen (I use my middle name of Joy in the blog world) and I went to ORU with Clifford. I just want you both to know that I am following your blog and praying. Karis is so beautiful and precious and I pray, in Jesus' name, that she will continue to grow and heal without complications. Heavenly Father, You knit this little one together in her mother's womb and you know how many hairs are on her sweet head. You know the plans You have for her...plans to prosper her and not to harm her. Plans for hope and a future. And Lord, a praise You because Karis is fearfully and wonderfully made. I praise You that You are faithful to finish the work You began in her. You will never leave her or forsake her and You are an ever present help in times of need. Holy Spirit, I ask You to wrap her in your presence and give her the warmth and comfort she needs as she lays in her little bed. I ask that You continue to breath Your Life into her, healing her lungs, healing her brain, healing her from head to toe. And, Father, in Jesus's name, I pray for all these things to be done in a way that brings glory to Your name and shines light a beacon in that hospital drawing people to You. Lord, we know that You work all things together for the good of those who love You and who are called according to Your purpose. And, Lord, I know that Danielle and Clifford love You and are called according to Your purpose, but I also know that little Karis loves You, too, and is also called according to Your purpose. I know that even at such a young age and in such a delicate condition, Karis can feel Your presence and hear Your voice singing over her. Lord, thank You for being near to her. Heavenly Father, I also pray that You will give Clifford and Danielle Your peace that passes all understanding to guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. I pray for Clifford as he has to go to work that You will strengthen him with supernatural strength and give him clarity of thought and speech. Help him to remain in an attitude of praise and do not let him become weary. I pray for Danielle that You will help her to trust You more and more each day and comfort her in this storm. Of course, the same prayer applies to Clifford, too, Lord, but You know that already. Keep them safe as they travel to and from the hospital and help the long drive to go quickly and smoothly. I also ask that You will give them favor even with the restrictive rules that are making this situation so challenging. We know that You are able to work in that situation. I also pray that You will give the doctors and nurses wisdom and knowledge. Guide them through their daily decisions and show them Your miracle working power. I pray also that You will be with Danielle's parents throughout their journey. Give them strength, keep them safe and comfortable, and help them through all the adjustments of being on such long flights and in a new country. Lord, You know all the other prayers I could pray. You know them even as I think them and I thank for that. Oh, and Heavenly Father, thank You for little Judah who is with You now. We know You hold him close to Your heart and I just pray that You will comfort Danielle, Clifford, and Karis as they no longer have him physically near. Help them to know that You know best. All these things I ask in the precious name of Jesus.

  3. Danielle and Clifford,
    I received a prayer request via email from my friend Kim Wasserman in St. Pete. I came to your blog and read your story. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you and your husband, especially being in a different country. I just want to encourage you that many people are praying for you, probably many you don't know. I'm praying that God will comfort you as you grieve the loss of your precious son Judah and that he will strengthen you as you continue this journey with your sweet daughter Karis. May you find rest in the presence of your Saviour as you seek him and abide in his Word, especially during this trying time. He is a faithful, loving God who is the Creator of all. I'm praying for supernatural growth and development of every organ and cell in Karis' body. May he continued progress and development astound everyone and bring glory to God! - Emily

  4. Good afternoon Danielle and Clifford (and Karis)
    This is a praise to the good LORD that is watching over you all right now, I know you are so very blessed to have HIM on your side, and know HIM as well as you do!!
    Karis is beautiful, and she is doing so well. PDA closed, what a blessing, and eyes open, that is always a good day!
    White out in the lungs, not surprising. Only a grade 1 bleed, that is spectacular.
    All is going well, and you need to know you did so much for her while she was still inside your tummy, and you are doing what is needed now. God is with you, so you know you are covered in prayer, and love, from both sides of the ocean.
    God's peace, love and blessings for you all, and give your mom and Greg a big hug from us when they get there.
    In Christ's love,

  5. "Lord God, we praise You. You are the God of all comfort, full of loving-kindness, understanding, mercy and peace. I know that all You have to do is reach down and touch little Karis and she would be healed. I ask for this now, Lord. I thank you for considering your servant's request, and I praise You, for You are worthy, no matter the outcome! Amen."