|I finally opened my lovely eyes for Mommy to see :) I could not be more in love with her. Dear God please help her little body to grow strong!|
As you can imagine, the last few days have been hard. It was much easier for me while at the hospital. I think mostly because I knew I was at least near Karis. My heart of course is heavy that I only get to see her for two hours a day. Sometimes, if I am being honest, I hate all the rules in Japan. In America I could see her almost anytime. I am on some different pProm and NICU web sites and the moms are always writing about sitting with their babies for hours. Nope not here. They get to do Kangaroo care, skin to skin time, even when babies are on vents (it is proven to help calm the baby) Nope not here until around 35 weeks. Family can come in and see the baby, nope not here. Looks like my Mom will see her twice as a special favor since they are flying from America. For some families they have homes they can stay at that are close, nope not here. I live about 1 hour away. Also, on Tuesday I don't even get to see her at all the NICU is closed to parents who are not in the hospital. All of this just makes me mad. If I think about it to much, it will swallow me whole. So, I try not to, but sometimes that is hard. In the past three years I have had to adapt to many "differences" about living in this culture. Truthfully it hasn't been to hard. I try hard most of the time to conform to the Japanese way. In the classes I took before coming here, something I learned was when living in a new culture it is important to" become like and remain like" that culture. And while that will probably never really happen, I can at least try to do this by following cultural norms and "rules". But I am just finding that really hard to accept in this instance. Please pray for my heart that it doesn't become angry towards all the differences here. Obviously where I am at in this moment today is not the best mentally. I guess the only thing I can do is the same thing I have been doing for months. Prayer! Sometimes it truly isn't easy, I really just don't have any words, but I know the Holy Spirit is going before the throne on my behalf.
While I am having a hard time in that area right now, I know the doctors and nurses are competent here and doing their best. Dr. Chiba has been very positive about how Karis is doing, and tries his best to explain everything in English. Even when we bring a translator he still will speak in English. After telling us about her lungs looking white Clifford and I didn't really understand everything, so the next day they spent a LONG time explaining it to us again. So how is Karis doing many of you may be wondering. Here is what is going on with her.
-Dr. C said he considers her stable. She has passed the 1 week mark which is great. Next goal is 1 month.
- Brain bleed- they found a second tiny brain bleed so she has one on both sides :( He said if they don't resolve they will turn into cysts. Since they are both level 1 he is not very concerned and has assured us it is so common.Our prayers are that her brain would heal itself and this worry would be gone!
-PDA- tiny valve between heart and lungs. It can open and close for awhile but for the past two days it has remained closed!!!
-Lungs- according to the second x-ray there has been some improvement. But still she needs prayer for this as there is still white or wetness in her lungs. Pray Pray Pray for this please.
-Infection- Praise the lord her white blood cell went down to almost normal levels. Her CRP (inflammation) level is still high but that is also common.
Breathing- she is doing well with her oxygen level and CO2 output. Praise God!
* Special prayer for my parents- My Mom and Greg are flying here in a few days to spend three weeks with us. Please pray for them as they prepare to come. It has been crazy for them both, but pray specifically for health that neither of them will become sick...I wouldn't take the chance of being around them if they become sick from all the plane germs :( Also, for my Mom's back it is acting up and I know how that can be on such a long flight.
|Family picture, we love you baby girl!|
|Sweet little foot so tiny and precious!|
|Tiny little hand, how I love you!|