Now, if you know me in person you know I have a hard time hiding how I feel so, sometimes I am afraid to not write only positive things. But really my days are truly a yo-yo of feelings. It seems to me that if I really think about my future, most of the outcomes seem fearful. No babies, very sick babies, only one baby...I am going to be very truthful here. I pray and hope and plead with God every day for none of these outcomes, and truly believe that Only He can work this kind of amazing miracle. But, my mind always fights back with what is the mostly likely outcome. My mind says don't hope too much or you will crumble when it doesn't happen. I guess the only thing I can cling to at the moment is, God is still here. Even when I lack, He doesn't leave me. For that I am forever thankful.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)
On to a BLESSING- Thursday morning, Clifford and I got up early in order to Skype with my home church Calvary Chapel St. Pete. Through skype we prayed for by our pastor and church congregation. This was such an encouragement and blessing to us both. It is so amazing to know people in America are praying for us and our babies. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your prayers. While sometimes it may not seem like a lot, the truth is our prayers are an act of worship to God. I think of them as an act of daily faith that He hears us. Another blessing for me the music before and after truly touched my heart in a deep way. One of the songs that was sung had a chorus I think but it said " I called, you answered, you came to my rescue, and I want to be where you are." Sometimes it seems the Lord has to come to my rescue multiple times a day due to my fear, but He hasn't stopped yet :) Here is a picture of us skyping into church.
We are now going to doctor appointments every other week. Not super happy about that but I don't think I could convince the doctor otherwise.
No new info on the babies :( but I can tell I am still leaking fluid. Some days are worse than others.
What I do know is that week 18- 24 are when babies start to practice their breathing so these are some important weeks for our babies.
Please pray that
I continue to stay infection free!! This on is very important or I could go into labour and they might not be able to stop it.
For both babies fluid to increase and for their sacks to reseal.
That both have enough fluid to help develop their lungs.
For mental strength and spiritual encouragement for Clifford and I, the idea of 2-3 more months of bed rest is daunting.
Thank you friends for your support and prayers on our behalf.