Thursday, May 17, 2012

PPROM week 14 and the hospital

So things were looking up.  Between being on self imposed bed rest due to morning sickness and the then SCH, at this point I had been in bed for about 1 month. During this time we were staying a temporary place and had to find a permanent place to live.  We were scheduled to move on Sunday April 22.  On Saturday April 21 however I believe this is the day my water started to leak.  That day I had been up a little more than usual but trying to still take it easy.  Things seemed to feel a little different to me, but I kept telling myself that I was over thinking it.  Considering all that had already happened with all the bleeding and it being my first pregnancy, I continued to second guess how I was feeling.  I just assumed whatever this extra felling was had to do with the SCH. The extra water was very small mind you,  but it didn't seem to stop.  So by 10:30 that night I decided we should go back to the hospital. Well we went in and a very young doctor took us up to have a look by ultrasound.  Now, if you don't know this my husband is  very good with his Japanese but I would say the medical talk, especially "women's" medical terms were all very new to him!  Oh the joys of marriage!  Anyways, she took a look and said she couldn't find anything.  Babies are good, strong heartbeats, moving around, no seen leak. She said all of this very casually, to come back on Monday if nothing changed, but she didn't really think there was a problem.  The paper test for amniotic fluid also came back negative.  So, I thought ok just my body going through some changes with pregnancy and just went back to bed rest.  We had an appointment on Wednesday so I wasn't too worried. We had friends help with the move on Sunday and I stayed in bed.  Things still felt the same but I decided to wait till Wednesday.  Our hospital is about 1 hour away, we chose it cause they specialize in twins. Twins are very very rare in Japan so I felt better being at a hospital that specialized in them.  Also, they have a higher graded NICU than the hospital closest to us, so we decided that would be our best shot not to be separated from our babies if something happened. I am not sure if going in sooner would have change what happened next. But the truth is I dwell on it.  If I did, I would go insane.

So Wednesday came and we went to our appointment.  At this point it was just Clifford and I with no translator. Like I said is Japanese is pretty great. Anyways we did all the normal checks, then it was time for the ultrasound.  Right from the beginning, I could tell it wasn't right.  We saw baby A but just fuzzy looking picture for baby B.  There was absolutely no fluid.  Just four days before, I had seen my sweet baby happy and moving in it's watery haven.  Now, nothing, no movement, just a heartbeat. This was definitely one of the worst moments of my life thus far. I could see the sadness on the nurses face.  In general, I think Japanese people keep their emotions in check, but at this point I burst into tears.   As Dr. S continued to look, I just kept thinking well this is it the end.  For all I knew at that point, I assumed a baby couldn't last with out fluid.  I assumed I would miscarriage soon.

We were quickly admitted and given a blood test.  When it came back it showed very elevated white blood (shows infection) and CRP  (show some kind of inflammation in the body). So they started me on Antibiotics and we waited.  Clifford has many personal days stored up, so he was able to stay with me the whole time.  I was in the hospital for about a week. During this week is was very hard obviously.  My WBC levels came down but CRP continued to stay elevated.  The doctor said he thought I would have a miscarriage within the week.  So we sat around waiting, praying and hoping. My amniotic fluid stayed the same, with only baby B affected. At this point it was just a waiting game.

If you don't know the English school we work for here in Japan is a christian school, and they have been so supportive during all of this.  There are so many ways I could mention how the friends we have made there have supported us during this difficult time. Translating, visits, prayer, food, phone calls, allowing Clifford the time to stay with me and the list could go on.  During such a trying time the Lord has really showed us both His tangable love through others. For that we are both so thankful.   

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